When the doctor told me I had the “leading cause of infertility”, there were many other words that followed hers and seemed to cling to me. Failure. Ugly. Broken. Unworthy. I heard them and when the months and years seemed to prove the label of “infertility” right, I allowed all those other words to label me as well. Like the slashes of a knife, they wounded me so deeply, I couldn’t see, … [Read more...] about Infertility, Our Identity, and What God Says About Who We Are
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Infertility has a way of sneaking in and taking over your life. Trust me, I know. And it’s one thing for your daily life to be dictated by a monthly-cycle of ups and downs, but it’s another thing entirely when relationships start being controlled by it. Women who face infertility have been known to shut down, to back away from relationships (specifically if their friends are having … [Read more...] about 3 Ways to Keep Infertility From Ruling Your Relationships
There we were, sitting around the living room, and I was blinking hard. No matter how many times I took shaking breaths, nor how many bites on the inside of my lip, I couldn’t stop the burning ache behind my eyes. Ah, Lord, really? Am I really going to cry about this now? No matter what I did, there the tears were. I was happy she was pregnant. Good grief, I was incredibly happy for … [Read more...] about Infertility after Adoption
Jacob had a soul-wound that spilled all over the pages of Genesis. From before he was even born this striving, pulling, grasping desire to make himself great burned through his veins. Every time we turn around he's manipulating or stealing or deceiving, pushing himself forward by sheer force of will. And then we find him, an old man, the night before he's going to meet his brother. Jacob has … [Read more...] about Infertility Showed Me the Face of God
In all the years that I’ve mourned the children lost to me, in all the years I struggled and fought away depression, in all the years I spent on my knees searching for God in the middle of my pain—there was one thing I didn't face until recently. Infertility carries many names. It carries pain, heartbreak, weight gain, loss, fear, sleeplessness, suffering… and, I have now learned, it carries … [Read more...] about Facing the Shame of Infertility
Once upon a time I thought infertility was destroying my faith. I didn't realize that true faith is indestructible. The part of me that was crumbling? It wasn't, nor had it ever been, faith. James knew this truth, which is why he instructed the church in James 1 to, "Count it all joy when you face trials of various kinds..." Translation: Count it joy, Natasha, when you face … [Read more...] about Infertility is a Joy?