Category Archives: Titus 2

[Titus 2] to submit or not to submit {and is that even the question?}

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That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 

Attributes of a godly woman (8) Obedient to Their Own Husbands

I still remember the day a woman named Tish, who was mentoring me at the time, said, “Submission is all about trusting God.”

It is so easy for mankind to turn this requirement for obedience into something personal and offensive, but its not. Submission really is about trusting God. Not your husband, not yourself: your God.

God is the one who put this instruction in the Word. He knows your husband. He knows you. Every day that you choose to submit to your husband you are, in essence, saying, “Okay, God, I trust that you know what you’re doing.”

I don’t think it can be emphasized enough that even if you don’t trust your husband (because, lets be real, some people have proven themselves to be untrustworthy) you can still choose to trust that God will work through him.

I once had a woman exclaim to me, “I hate the idea of submission because it makes me feel like a servant!” Do not forget what Jesus himself said, “…just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve…” (Matt. 20:28)  If our God was willing to be a servant, how much more so us?

All the reasons for avoiding submission turn out to be selfish. The Bible tells us to “…do nothing out of selfish ambition…” (Philippians 2:3)  There is simply no way to avoid it. We are told to be obedient to our husbands. To yield our will to another.

Ouch.

Here’s the truth: I don’t like yielding my will to others. I have this inherent self-protection instinct in me. I think that if I don’t champion my cause, no one will. I’ll be run over and controlled. And I fear that.

I don’t want to allow my husband the final say in matters. Especially matters in which I think I have a better understanding than him. Because I fear being controlled.

I don’t want to allow my husband to make decisions about our lives. I want to control my own destiny. (Even in little things like, having people over for dinner or letting my husband meet up with his guy friends)  Because I fear being controlled.

To say it plainly: Nothing in my flesh wants to allow my husband to control anything. Because I fear being controlled.

Do you know where fear comes from? I’ll give you a hint: it’s not from God!

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18

It is my flesh, my earthly desires, the enemy at work in my life.   

And I am not a slave to my flesh.

Remember when we talked about willingly placing limitations on our freedom?

It’s true that we don’t have to listen to our husbands. We don’t have to yield our will to theirs. We don’t have to follow Christ. God gave us free will. You always have a choice. Don’t let anyone convince you that “submitting” is taking away your choices or your freedoms. That’s a lie. And it doesn’t even make sense when you think about it.  

In the end the question is not  “am I going to submit to my husband or not?” rather it is, “am I going to follow Christ?”

Are you?

Make it Real

Make a commitment to pray, every day for a week, for your husband. Tell God that you are choosing to trust him and ask for ways to display a submissive spirit to your husband. Not because of him. Not because of you. But because God is faithful and trustworthy.

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End Note

Now that I’ve come to end of these articles, I am amazed. All of the beautiful women of God who have influenced my life are spread through here for all to see. They are the Titus 2 women. Who is influencing your life? Do you have a list of Titus 2 women? Who are you influencing? Are you being a Titus 2 woman to anyone?

                Start paying attention. You might be surprised.

                                                                To Him who is able to keep us from falling,

                                                                                                                                Natasha

 

[Titus 2] actions not reactions

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That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, 

Attributes of a godly woman (7) Good

                This section should begin with acknowledging the source of goodness. All goodness comes from God. He is the ultimate good. The only way to know “good” is to know God.

How do we know God? By spending time in His Word.

The Bible tells us a lot about goodness. Proverbs 12:25 tells us to speak good words. Psalms 37:3 tells us to do good. Proverbs 3:27 tells us to not withhold good when it is within our power to act.

That last verse is one that often brings me to my knees. I have a sentence written inside the cover of my Bible:

Let nothing that anyone does to you alter your treatment of them.

How hard this is! Yet, our “goodness” should not alter according to people’s actions. Our “goodness” should be based in who Christ is. He is our source. It has nothing to do with the person receiving it.

I am very aware of the words that I speak. It is not that I don’t ever say hurtful things but it is not my greatest struggle. In the same respect, I get hurt easily. Words are the most painful things that can be used against me.

I hurt a lot. A friend mistreats me, an acquaintance at church says something harsh, and a stranger gets upset about how long I take at the cash register. You know the routine…

How easy it would be to change how I react to them! To avoid the friend who treated me so rough, to stay on the other side of the church from the lady with the sharp tongue, to keep my head down while grocery shopping… But that is not what God calls us to do.

He calls me to love.

To love on this friend without trying to block myself from being wounded.

To love on this lady without trying to avoid her sharpness.

To smile at strangers.

To give care and attention to the very ones who are capable of harming me.

Not because of me. Not because of them. Because of who my God is.

To be good. To show good. Or, in other words… To be like God. To show God. 

Make is Real!

Take a moment to think of someone that you’ve been avoiding or “altering” your treatment of because of something they did. Ask God to give you an idea of a way to do good to them. A card. A visit. A wave. Whatever it is that changes your actions from being “reactions” and blesses them with good things. 

[Titus 2] order or chaos

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That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, 

Attributes of a godly woman (6) Keepers At Home

Keeper of the home.

What an interesting terminology.  A “keeper” is someone who is responsible for something, whose job is to take care of and protect.  The “keeper” is the one who maintains.

In today’s society it is often looked down upon to be “just” a homemaker but the truth is that every woman makes her home.

Fran, the dear Christian lady that I have mentioned before, has repeated many times that attitude is everything. How we keep our home and how we enjoy keeping our home is completely dependant on our attitude. I still remember her holding out both of her hands and saying, “You can think I have to or you can think I get to.”

There is another problem though that seems to be dragging down the calling for women to be “keepers at home”.  Ministry.

Yes, I said ministry.

Good, lovely things are pulling women away from their homes.  Even within the church there are many who feel a need to be going, going, going… And I have a secret to tell you: I was one of them. Because my home consisted of just my husband and myself, it seemed that my home work was personal and the “real” ministry was out in the world.

For the first few years of our marriage I felt a constant pull to be going somewhere. There were women I wanted to interact with, children I wanted to minister to, unbelieving friends that I needed to maintain contact with… So many things were dragging me out of my home.

Don’t misunderstand, I loved being home.

Still, I felt that the things that I was spending my time on were important.

Then one day it all changed. A statement that I overheard sent an arrow straight to my heart and I realized that I was looking at everything the wrong way.

“I am here to serve the people that the Lord puts in my home.”

I began to understand…God is fully capable of placing the people he wants me to minister to in my home. Now, it is my first priority. Not necessarily the cleanliness of my home (although that is important!) but the people in my home.

I still don’t have any children. It is just my husband and me… and the dozens of men and women and children who come through our home each week. I make gallons of coffee, serve any number of people at a given meal, shrug my shoulders at dirty floors and support my husband as he shares the gospel over and over and over right at my kitchen table.

Of course, remember, this is my ministry. Yours may (and probably will!)  look different. (Not everyone has a farmer/evangelist for a husband!)

But I guarantee you it will revolve around your home.

If God took the time to write it in his word, then it is.  

Make it Real:

Look at your calendar. Are you spending most of your time at home or away? Be careful to follow the Spirit’s leading- but know that God’s choice is not that you spend your life away from your home. Start with next week. Is there anything that you’re planning to do that doesn’t have to be there?

Remember, God can bring anything to you. Don’t hide yourself in your home. Throw open the doors and minister from within. 

[Titus 2] free and clean

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That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste…

Attributes of a godly woman (5) Chaste

Purity. For years that word brought one thing to mind: sexual purity. During my single years it was foremost in my thoughts; avoiding compromising situations, being careful not to become too attached to any of my guy friends, watching my thought life.

Now things are different. I’m married. Of course, I still need to be sexually pure. Yet, the fight doesn’t seem to be as hard. (I understand that for some women, it still is a battle. In that case, remember that God is faithful. 2 Timothy 2:13)

Still, purity has grown to include so many more things. One of the definitions of “chaste” is: pure in thought and deed: behaving in a pure way, with no immoral thoughts[1].

Pure in thought and deed. What a calling! To behave with purity in my thoughts… when I’m frustrated with a friend, when I’m angry at my husband, when I’m struggling with the leadership at church, when I’m… the list could go on and on. There are hundreds of circumstances when being pure is difficult.

In the world of music, a “pure” note is one that is without discord. How often are my thoughts full of discord? I don’t know about you but mine are on a regular basis. I really struggle in this area. By nature, my personality is one that carefully gathers facts and tries to find solutions. But sometimes my facts are more like feelings and sometimes my solutions bring only discord. They are not pure.

Remember! There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Rom. 8:1) God isn’t standing there judging us. He is, however, calling us deeper. His desire is that we would begin reflecting him.

That is the heart of this passage in Titus. Deepening. Growing. Being transformed.

At times I am stunned at the graciousness and lovingness of our King. To think that he longs for us to be pure!  Free from contamination. Free and clean! That’s what he offers. How marvelous is that?

Make It Real

Take a moment, right now, to ask God to show you an area in your life that needs to be “purified”.  Are there things that you do that are not pure and lovely? Are there places in your thought life that need to be cleaned up? Don’t get discouraged! If you’re anything like me, a dozen things will come directly to mind. Just look at one thing at a time.

[1] Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation

[Titus 2] the dish-washing principle

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That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet…

Attributes of a godly woman (4) Discreet

Discretion: showing good judgment and wise self-restraint in speech and behavior. 

In other words; self-control.

The first time I sat under teaching on this subject, the teacher asked us to pick something in our lives to work on being “self-controlled” in. I left class, determined to pray about it and then pick a random thing from the list a mile long of things I needed to change in my life.

How God surprised me! He didn’t point out my poor eating habits, my tendency to hold grudges, my lack of Bible reading… Wash the dishes every night before bed. That’s what he said! I could hardly believe it either.

Yes, there were times when the dishes piled up. But, to be honest, it wasn’t like I was a terrible housekeeper. On any given day my house is relatively neat. It was just that I dread the dishes. I’m so busy during the day and then at nighttime I just want to sleep!

Still, I couldn’t escape the impression that this was my area.

For one week my dishes were washed and put away every night. And guess what? It wasn’t so bad. In fact, after the first day, it was roughly 5 minutes a night that I spent at the sink.

My mother walked into my house the next week, looked around and said, “Tasha! Your dishes are done!” I just smiled. Yes, they were.

Being “discreet” doesn’t have much to do with washing dishes… except, well, for me, it did. No, not the dishes but rather the fact that it is a daily decision. “Am I going to accomplish my goal and get the dishes washed before bed?” became “Am I going to be self-controlled today?”  Which included all those other things… eating, holding grudges, reading my Bible, watching the words that I speak, being faithful in the things I have determined to do…

There is something else that washing the dishes helped me realize: I can change. As silly as it sounds, I really had come to believe that I would always hate washing dishes and they would pile in my sink. Now, it is months later and I’m sitting looking at a lovely kitchen with all dishes washed.

This, in turn, means that I can choose to not hold grudges and someday I really will be a gracious person. I can choose to watch what I eat and someday I will not be carrying these extra pounds. I can choose to watch the words that I speak… Well, you get the idea.

[note: my dishes do, still, pile up at times. more often than I like. But there is a difference now. I am recognizing that it is a daily decision and I get to make the choice.]

Make it Real:

Anyone can read a blog post but it takes a little more effort to apply it. Here is one practical idea of something you can do in your life to make this principle apply personally. 

Pick one area in your life that you need self-control. Write it down on an index card and search for Bible verses to aid you. (In my dishwashing escapade, I found verses on diligence.) Then for one week try to maintain self-control in that one thing.  Don’t get over-zealous. One thing. One week. At the end of the week have a talk with God and see what he has to say…

You might be surprised!

[Titus 2] painting pictures

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That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 

Attributes of a godly woman (3) Love their children

I’m cringing slightly as I prepare for this section. My reason? I don’t actually have any kids. My mind says that disqualifies me from writing on the subject. Perhaps it does. I actually left this file sitting open on my laptop and walked away for several days.

Lord, I can’t write about parenting. Maybe I should just skip this attribute.

Still, the urging I had felt to write these articles continued. So, here I am! Writing. Lord, let them hear my heart! Not the babbling of the “untested”.

When I was about seventeen I began to identify the reason that my parent’s faith managed to get passed down to me. All around I saw the evidence of disillusioned young people who were walking away from God, the church and anything remotely religious. Why had I escaped? Why was I still holding fast to my Savior? One word began resonating in me. Transparency.

My parents lived their faith “out-loud”. When my mother struggled with her faith, she didn’t paste on a smile and pretend that everything was good. She cried. She prayed. She sought God. Then any doubt of God’s existence and love faded as he met her time after time.  And I watched it all. I saw her doubt. I saw her sin. I saw the magnificence of our glorious King and Redeemer when he met her in her weakness! And I wanted that.

When I think about the greatest way my mother showed her love for me it is simply this: She gave me a glimpse of the ultimate love relationship. Her and her Jesus. That was love.

My friend, Fran, put it this way:

The whole point of ‘loving our children’ is to put the Word in their hearts. Everything in this life is to drive us to the feet of Jesus. We’ve got to make sure that our children know where to find him.

That is love.

Loving our children (and if like me, you have none, there are still children all around who need our love! Neighbor kids, church kids, nieces, nephews…)  is painting a picture of Jesus for them.

In what ways?

We teach them the Word. My sister-in-law, Brianna, taught her 2 year old twins to sing Bible verses! When you asked them to sing for you it wasn’t a silly nursery rhyme that they spouted, it was “God is love, God is love. I John 4:8, God is love!” That was love.

We discipline them. Proverbs 13:24 says that those who don’t discipline actually “hate” their children but those who love are “careful to discipline”.

Using Proverbs 8:2 as a guide (where the paths meet, [wisdom] takes her stand…) Fran helps her children see that when they come to a place of disobedience or sinfulness they are standing at the crossroads.

Wisdom cries to them to choose the path of righteousness. Sin pulls them toward the path of wickedness.

She draws them a picture of the two paths and says, “When you chose to disobey Mommy, you stepped onto the path of wickedness. That is why I must spank you. To help you turn and choose the right path.” That is love.

We pray for them. A dear older woman in my life, Norma, has a little place upstairs in her house that contains a lovely shawl. On it are pins. It is common knowledge what those pins are. There is one for every child. Every grandchild. Every great-grandchild. Whenever she gets the chance, Norma slips up to her room and prays over each of them. Never forgetting one. That is love.

Make it Real

 Anyone can read an article but it takes a little more effort to apply it. Here is a practical thing you can do in your life to utilize the information just given you.

In your devotions notebook write down a list of your children’s names. (Or, if you have no children, like me, ask the Lord for a list of children to pray for!) Pray for their relationship with God. Pray for their character. Pray for their relationships with friends and family. Pray for protection. Pray for their future.

[Titus 2] true love

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 That they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands… 

[Tuesdays in Titus 2]

Attributes of a godly woman (2)

Love Their Husbands

There will be times when our husbands act unlovable. Shocked? If you’ve been married for any length of time, probably not.

When I was about sixteen years old, my mother sat me down for a talk. Of all the things she said I remember this part clearly.“Tasha, there is one thing I can tell you about your husband, right now, before we have any idea who he is. He is a sinner. And trust me, that is a good thing. Because you are too.”

We are all fallen. All in need of a Savior. Don’t be shocked and surprised when your husband disappoints you. Don’t be shocked and surprised when you disappoint your husband. If we were perfect, then Jesus wouldn’t have needed to come to save us.

How then, do we love our imperfect husbands?

The same way we love anyone.
Love is defined right in the Bible. I Corinthians 13.

          

Love is…

Patient. Am I showing patience to my husband?

Kind. Am I being kind to my husband?

Does Not Envy. Am I supporting him without desiring praise/honor for myself?

Does Not Boast. Am I willing to not speak of myself?

Is Not Proud. Am I willing to humbly submit to him?

Is Not Rude. Am I watching my tongue and actions?

Is Not Self-Seeking. Am I choosing my husband over myself?

Is Not Easily-Angered. Am I willing to be wronged without retaliating?

Keeps No Record of Wrongs. Am I holding things against my husband?

Love always…

Protects. Am I protecting him with my words and actions?

Trusts. Am I trusting that his heart is right?

Hopes. Am I keeping myself hopeful for our marriage?

Perseveres. Am I willing to keep on keeping on? 

If you’re anything like me then you probably cringed at a few of those questions. Willing to be wronged without retaliation? Supporting him without wishing for someone to notice me and what I did?

 We press on toward the goal to win the prize… (Philippians 3:14)

Cheryl, another older woman in my life, once said, “It doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s how you respond.”

This was in the context of your physical relationship with your husband (also part of loving him!) But I believe it is true in every other aspect as well. You can disagree with your husband and still show him love if you respond correctly.

Make it Real
Anyone can read an article but it takes a little more effort to apply it. 
Here is something practical you can do to make this real in your life:

Go to your husband and ask him what the top 10 things are that he likes you to do for him. They might surprise you! My husband’s included things like visiting him at work and keeping bread in the house. A handy list to have around to make sure that you’re showing love in ways that he understands.


[Titus 2] freedom to worship

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The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the younger women to be sober…

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As I sat down to write these articles I was assailed with doubts. “You’re not an older woman! Even if you were, you certainly aren’t someone that others should look up to!” I reached for the laptop, intending to shut it and walk away when I felt the Spirit calm my wild thoughts.

 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus… (Rom. 8:1)

My dear friend, Cindy (one of my older women!) once said to me that memorizing scripture increases the Holy Spirit’s vocabulary in your life. She, in turn, probably learned that from someone else. Oh, that’s right. This is not about me.

Everything I am about to write, I know because someone, somewhere, took the time to teach it to me. I grew up in a Christian home, so I have had the privilege to have been under the influence of Christian men and women all of my life. I may be only in my late-twenties, which is so very young compared to some, but that means that I have been learning the ways of God for over twenty years!

My heart may be filled with ugliness; rebellion, pride, anger, lust, bitterness… But the sins of my heart only make me hold so much tighter to the cross of Jesus Christ. 

 We are more than conquerors through him who loved us… (Rom. 8:37)

Thank you, Lord!

 

Attributes of a godly woman (1) Sober

For many years I assumed that “sober” in the context of Titus 2, meant exactly what the first definition in the dictionary said, “1.  not intoxicated: not under the influence of drugs or alcohol [1]”

I liked that meaning. Mostly because I could then check it off my list.

Ways to be Godly: 1. Don’t drink. Check.

We all like things that are easy, right?

Then came the day that I was sitting at a Bible Study and the leader ruined all my preconceived ideas. Come to find out that “not intoxicated” is but a small part of the word “sober”. Other words began filling up the space.

Tempered, restrained, serious, thoughtful.

I began to see that my check mark didn’t even begin to cover this attribute that is described.

The new definition: “2. To voluntarily place limitations on ones own freedom.”

Oh, no. Lord? Being sober, for me, doesn’t have much to do with drinking. In my case, it includes not reading too much, since I devourer books the way some people drink. It includes watching to make sure that I’m not spending too much time with friends and not enough maintaining my home. It includes… a list a mile long.

Lord? Oh, that’s right. No condemnation. Just encouragement.

 Press on toward the goal to win the prize… (Philippians 3:14)

To be sober-minded, taking life seriously, thoughtfully, with purpose. Not that one does not laugh and sing and shout for joy. On the contrary! Instead it means to do everything, [even your laughing, singing and shouting for joy] purposefully. 

 

Wait! There is more. It is not just being purposeful to not do things, or to have the right heart… it is also to do certain things. I have the freedom to not spend time in the Word or in prayer but I can place limitations on my freedom. I can choose to get up in the morning and open the Word of God. I can choose to kneel down before my Father in heaven and ask for his help, confess my sins and surrender my will to his.

Ways to be Godly: 1. Willingly place limitations on my freedom; choosing instead to do whatever is necessary to bring honor and glory to my Savior and Lord.

The check mark at the end might not be so easy to place but the rewards? Far superior.

Make it Real
Anyone can read an article but it takes a little more effort to apply it. 
Here is something practical you can do to make this real in your life:
If you are not already doing so, take time everyday to read something in the Word. It doesn’t have to be chapters and chapters. Just something.
Another wise woman once told me,

“There have been times in my life when I could not read more than a verse or two before one of the children needed me. But that was enough.” 

[1]# Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.# Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.