I still remember the wild fear that rushed through me. The way everything slowed and my heart raced and instinct took over. There is no way I would have had the gumption to take on a two thousand pound mama cow who was charging—except for one small detail: my daughter was on the wrong side of the gate. I doubt I have ever moved that fast in my life, but the straw bale I had been carrying … [Read more...] about She was good, so God gave her babies.
I like buying my husband hoodie sweatshirts. He wears them for work, layering them in the cold because they give him more movement than big bulky jackets. His sweatshirts get beat up pretty badly. If it's not being crammed behind the seat of a tractor that does them in, it's the grease and grime of a mechanic's life. Especially once warmer weather starts coming and he pulls off layers as the … [Read more...] about A Little What-To-Look-For-In-A-Husband Story
“Mom, look at me!” I turned my head toward my son and he stared at my face intently. “Your eye is really red,” he pointed out. I nodded. “It’s irritated from the sun and dust.” He jumped down and raced off to examine another tractor at the auction. As soon as I arrived home that night, I pulled out my contacts and rinsed my eyes with solution, trying to shake free the gritty dustiness … [Read more...] about How To See Pain With True Sight
My grip on his shoulder was rapidly turning from “directive” and “connecting” to let me remind you how furious I am right now. I let go immediately and he moved ten feet away from me. It was dark outside, but the moon was full and bright so his posture of fear and detachment was perfectly clear. Oh, Lord, my heart started praying, I wasn’t going to get here again. I wasn’t going to let him … [Read more...] about Grace Can Be Found No Matter Where You Are
This year we will celebrate our eleventh anniversary. And this will be the fourteenth year since a doctor told me there was a strong chance I would never bear a child. So far that doctor was right. I was talking with a friend the other day, one who has faced years of singleness past what she expected. Her life is redefining, and it’s good but also different. She told me about a quote from … [Read more...] about A Baby Won’t Fix My Infertility
I was curled up against the wall, crying myself to sleep. Again. Lord, what is wrong with me? Why do I feel afraid of everything, including my husband? During the day I would feel fine, but when night arrived, the empty gnawing feeling would start clawing at me until I was forcing myself to take deep breaths to ward off panic attacks. Sleep? Of course not. Instead, I stared into the … [Read more...] about Is Your Grief Masquerading as Something Else?