I remember it. I remember crying through the night and hating myself when I looked in the mirror and feeling betrayed and lost and hopeless and like there was no reason to even take another breath. It wasn’t every moment, but the waves of depression would come and settle, sometimes for weeks at a time. And if I could go back, if I could whisper one thing to that girl who knew Jesus but was … [Read more...] about The Truth About How God Sees the Depressed Christian
I sat deep into the corner of couch, my arms wrapped tight around myself, with ugly tears dripping off the end of my nose. It was the year I had lost a daughter to a failed adoption, lost my dreams to brokenness, lost my ideals to the anguish of barrenness. It was agony. She asked me what was wrong, and I wanted to give excuses for my hurt, but all I could manage through the tears and … [Read more...] about This Thing Called Hope
Nights were usually the hardest. After the sun went down and my husband slept beside me, all the questions and fears would rise up inside. I was so confused. I wanted to be strong and faithful but I didn’t have any idea how. I felt pressed down with questions. Questions about where God was while I was floundering. Questions about why I couldn’t bear the babies my heart was screaming for. … [Read more...] about Surviving the Night Hours with Infertility
In our family, we know a thing or two about covenants. Our babies didn’t come to us through birth, you know, they came through paperwork and courtrooms and unconditional covenants. Deep, abiding promises that say things like: No matter what you’ll always be loved. No matter what you’ll always have a place in this family. No matter what you’ll always belong. It’s unconditional because it … [Read more...] about Of Covenants, Cold Feet, and the One Who Changes Everything
This isn't a cooking blog, obviously. Around here you're more likely to cry than be inspired to go bake. I sincerly hope it's good crying though. Like the cleansing, God's close to me, I'm not alone, type crying. But regardless. Today we interrupting our regular scheduled program to share with you a recipe for peach pie. Does anyone remember years and years ago when I requested all your … [Read more...] about The Very Best Peach Pie EVER.
God wants to use us broken. Some people don't like that word. "Broken" like something is inherently wrong with us, like we are less-than because of what has happened to us, or what we've done. But I don't mind it. I think of it like broken: in need of a fixer. And I know the most wonderful Fixer of all. It wasn't always this way. I used to struggle with feeling like I needed to be … [Read more...] about I’m not afraid of the word “broken” anymore.