A version of this article was originally published at She Loves Magazine in 2017. I never expected the word barren to label my life. I was a vibrant person. I am an introvert to be sure, but I wasn’t shy or backward. I loved life and loved living it. By the time I was in my early twenties…
The room was bright and harsh for three in the morning. I was shaking, hard, much as I had been for the past two days, even though the pain had mostly settled out. There was blood smeared across my bare stomach and my hands had speckles of dried blood across them. My doctor was still…
My coffee was growing cold where it sat on the arm of the Adirondack chair. I stared across the fields where windmills spun along the horizon. I didn’t want to pick up the coffee again. I knew it would taste bad. I knew the moment the liquid hit my tongue, the nausea I was ignoring…
During my single years, I would have told you I knew marriage wouldn’t solve all my struggles. Of course not. I wasn’t naïve. I understood that marriage brings its own issues and building a family with someone isn’t just aromantic drive on a starlit night. No duh. But now, looking back, I did kind of…
Amos finished putting up hay last week. Although we rent out a lot of our land now that we don’t have cattle we still put up crops for our sheep and to sell. Baling hay is such a fascinating process. You chop the grass all apart, let it sit in the sun for hours or…
I’m thankful God is patient and kind and longsuffering because I’m pretty sure if He wasn’t, He’d get tired of my prayer cycle. I know it’s a cycle and it’s about a month to 38 days in length and it starts with me praying that I’ll get pregnant again, followed by sorrow that I’m not,…
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