Adoption

I received my Grandma Polly’s Bible after her death. In fact, it was just the next day when all her collection of Bibles were brought out and I was told that I could choose one. I gathered up the one she had been using most recently and glanced through it. There were lists of favorite…

I’ve told the story so many times of how excited and astonished we were to find out we were expecting a miracle baby in 2019. It’s like Christmas morning, every morning, I explained. And this was true. I also told the story of how we had to battle worry and fear over the baby surviving. Because more…

We went through the adoption process four times during our infertility journey. (Note: we ended up only bringing two children home. You can read that whole story in my book, Counting Grains of Sand.)  I can tell you, without question or qualm, that adopting did not and could not fix our infertility. It wasn’t a…

I’m convinced there is nothing more heart-crushing than facing a moment when it feels like you have to choose between your children. The day we finally made phone calls and placed one of our children in out-of-home respite care for an extended period, was the day I realized I was going to lose my other…

Two weeks. Fourteen days in a row of solid negativity. Fourteen long days when there were a lot of things said from my child to me, but none of them could be twisted into anything nice. I heard that I was “not a real mom”, I was “annoying”, that I was “a murderer” (don’t ask,…

Adopting a traumatized child is not like a short-term missions trip to an orphanage where all the children are slightly unkempt but ever so sweet and want to be held and play games and tell stories. In fact, nothing is really like that in reality. (Not even the orphanage you might have visited.) This kind…