Marriage is hard. It’s also beautiful and life-giving—but that’s a subject for another day. For today, we’re going to address the fact that marriage can be hard and a healthy marriage takes a certain amount of cultivating. Relationships in general take a certain amount of cultivating. And nothing throws a relationship off course like trauma. It’s no secret that in the … [Read more...] about To the Adoptive Mom With a Struggling Marriage
Adoption
To the Adoptive Mom Feeling the Weight of Other People’s Opinions
I still remember where I was sitting the first time another mom explained to me that my child wasn't as difficult as I seemed to think. She wasn't mean about it. Not at all. But the words still shocked me into silence. The truth? I had barely brushed the surface of the issues we were facing at home. Barely even said anything that indicated how hard things actually were! But … [Read more...] about To the Adoptive Mom Feeling the Weight of Other People’s Opinions
To the Adoptive Mom Struggling to Love Her Traumatized Child
First, before we say anything else, let’s get this out on the table: children from hard places are really hard to love. One of the lies that the enemy beats us with is that there is something wrong with us if we’re struggling to love our children. They’re just little, we tell ourselves. Innocent. None of this was their fault. How can I dislike them so much? I’ll tell you how: because trauma … [Read more...] about To the Adoptive Mom Struggling to Love Her Traumatized Child
Dear Adoptive Mom
I wrote some letters over the past few years. Letters that I'm going to share with you over the next few months. I know all of you who read this blog aren't adoptive parents, but I know some of you are. I know more of you long to be. I know almost all of you probably know and love someone who has adopted. Not all children who are adopted have trouble attaching to their new family, but when … [Read more...] about Dear Adoptive Mom
3 Essential Ways to Support Adopting Families
Recently a pastor’s wife sat me down, explained that a couple in their congregation was pursuing adoption, and then looked intently at me and said, “You’ve adopted twice. In what ways can we show this couple the most support possible?” I’m not sure if I patted her hand or not, but I’m sure I wanted to. And I wanted to sing out a praise. Hallelujah! Someone is asking the right questions of the … [Read more...] about 3 Essential Ways to Support Adopting Families
Grace Can Be Found No Matter Where You Are
My grip on his shoulder was rapidly turning from “directive” and “connecting” to let me remind you how furious I am right now. I let go immediately and he moved ten feet away from me. It was dark outside, but the moon was full and bright so his posture of fear and detachment was perfectly clear. Oh, Lord, my heart started praying, I wasn’t going to get here again. I wasn’t going to let him … [Read more...] about Grace Can Be Found No Matter Where You Are