Infertility

If I Had Known: Looking Back at Over a Decade of Infertility

I just wanted to know how long. That was my biggest question. How long would I be barren? Was this a lifetime thing? Or was it just a season? Did I need to completely shut down my hopes and dreams for a baby? Or was it okay to hold onto hope? For eleven years I lived in limbo, wondering and questioning. And now that I’m on the other side—now that I know it would be just shy of 12 years … [Read more...] about If I Had Known: Looking Back at Over a Decade of Infertility

I’m One of the Lucky Ones

Soon after our baby arrived I began hearing it. I was lucky. Lucky that my story ended with a baby. Lucky that I was able to birth a miracle. Lucky that I didn’t carry the harshness of infertility forever. Nobody meant it in a superstitious way. They meant it in the traditional use of the word. That despite probabilities being against me, I was blessed enough to have slipped through and … [Read more...] about I’m One of the Lucky Ones

Pregnancy after Long-Term Infertility

The fact that I’m pregnant after almost twelve years of infertility still shocks me every morning. I wake up, move to stand, and groan a bit because my hips ache like I spent too long horseback riding, and then the steady thump of this tiny baby’s fists or feet cause my breath to catch hard. There’s a baby, my mind says in surprise. A real live baby that I’ve watched on ultrasound screens … [Read more...] about Pregnancy after Long-Term Infertility

When All You See Is The Place Where You’re Lacking

For years I read the story of Hannah in I Samuel with a slightly miffed attitude. I know some people read her story and feel encouraged, hopeful. After all, Hannah was barren, oppressed, taunted-- and God heard her cry and opened her womb. Not just once, but six times. Hope, right? Except for me, I would read it and feel like I was failing. God responded with a miracle for Hannah, but over a … [Read more...] about When All You See Is The Place Where You’re Lacking

Infertility Doesn’t Define My Heart

<< This post is part of the blog series The Christian Woman's Guide to Infertility: Finding Hope and Healing even without a Baby. >> Infertility Doesn’t Define My Heart I started babysitting when I was ten years old. We lived in Alaska, at a Bible School, and our neighbors had three girls. A three year old, a two year old, and a baby. They were beautiful blond-headed sweethearts who … [Read more...] about Infertility Doesn’t Define My Heart

Infertility Doesn’t Define My Relationships

<< This post is part 4 in the blog series The Christian Woman's Guide to Infertility: Finding Hope and Healing even without a Baby. >> Infertility Doesn’t Define My Relationships When I was still single a friend who struggled with infertility was trying to explain why she wasn’t particularly close to one of her best friends any longer. She paused, stumbled around, and then said … [Read more...] about Infertility Doesn’t Define My Relationships