Infertility

I still remember the wild fear that rushed through me. The way everything slowed and my heart raced and instinct took over. There is no way I would have had the gumption to take on a two thousand pound mama cow who was charging—except for one small detail: my daughter was on the wrong side…

“Mom, look at me!” I turned my head toward my son and he stared at my face intently. “Your eye is really red,” he pointed out. I nodded. “It’s irritated from the sun and dust.” He jumped down and raced off to examine another tractor at the auction. As soon as I arrived home that…

This year we will celebrate our eleventh anniversary. And this will be the fourteenth year since a doctor told me there was a strong chance I would never bear a child. So far that doctor was right. I was talking with a friend the other day, one who has faced years of singleness past what…

I was curled up against the wall, crying myself to sleep. Again. Lord, what is wrong with me? Why do I feel afraid of everything, including my husband? During the day I would feel fine, but when night arrived, the empty gnawing feeling would start clawing at me until I was forcing myself to take…

All she wanted was to have a baby. It wasn’t a huge thing—plenty of people have them. But, for her it didn’t happen. And every month the seed of bitterness dug deeper into her heart. Anger. Self-pity. Resentment. Pride. Dark ugliness that tangled her heart and left her unable to interact with those around her…

Nights were usually the hardest. After the sun went down and my husband slept beside me, all the questions and fears would rise up inside. I was so confused. I wanted to be strong and faithful but I didn’t have any idea how. I felt pressed down with questions. Questions about where God was while…