Last Spring before I had a positive pregnancy test, before the ultrasounds and the doctor's visits and the fluttering of little feet-- there was a question. Is it possible that after more than a decade of infertility, I might actually be pregnant? And the day after that question finished formulating in my mind, I started bleeding. I was the only one in my family awake that morning, and the … [Read more...] about How to Grab Hold of Peace Amidst Uncertainty
Faith as small as a mustard seed can supposedly do quite the miraculous line-up of things. Toss mulberry trees and mountains around. Send demons scurrying for cover. Heal broken bodies and hearts. Luke 17:5-6 says: The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry … [Read more...] about How Hard Can It Be To Have Mustard Seed Sized Faith?
I long to live in perpetual trust of the Lord. To be so ingrained in faith and hope and Christlike-ness that trust pours from my heart at the first moment of hardship. The first moment of questions. That when I flinch from the world’s agony, I will turn my face directly to His without wavering. I know from the study of Scripture, the stories of the early church fathers, the testimonies of … [Read more...] about How to Build Trust In Your Heart
Each morning feels like Christmas morning now that we have a baby in the house. She's still a surprise. A brilliant, happy surprise. But even Christmas can have its moments. (Maybe even especially Christmas?) There have been some emotionally charged minutes, hours, even days. Postpartum, it turns out, is nothing to sneeze at and some things I thought were long-ago dealt with in my … [Read more...] about After Infertility
It is shortly after midnight, and I'm sitting in a dim hospital room, listening to Tasha breathe, waiting for the miracle that will happen within the next 18 hours, according to the doctor. Have you ever had so many emotions and thoughts and feelings, all at the same time, that you just are left...speechless? That's how I feel. But I want so much to communicate-- to document this … [Read more...] about On Laboring Together: a birth story
I have a wall in my house that displays the footprints of God's miracles in our lives. We were barren, you know, unable to have children-- yet, there they are. Three sets of miracles that came in ways we never expected. The line begins with a giant 8-year-old footprint and handprint from our first adoption. We brought our daughter home and recreated a few of the baby-things most families … [Read more...] about Sometimes Trusting God Means Leaving Space