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  1. Bethany Davis says:

    Hi Natasha,

    The pain you must be dealing with everyday must be so hard. I can only imagine how your heart breaks seeing other mothers with babies. I won’t say I understand, because I don’t. I’m not really even close to getting married let alone close to having a baby yet. I appreciate that you share your raw and honest feelings about your daily joys and struggles.

    On another note, your daughter is beautiful and your son is a cutie! Your son looks like my nephews, and your daughter looks like my best friend who is also adopted.
    God Bless!
    Bethany

  2. Laura Patrie says:

    This has be crying so hard…….I know only too well exactly what this article is talking about and I have walked the walk every day for over 34 years.
    So very thankful for what God has given me in our 4 adopted children, but like the article says, the pain of infertility is still there and always will be. Experiencing motherhood is not the same as experiencing having a baby. It is incredibly evident when you see so many moms who have had babies (and wanted to have a baby), but really do not enjoy motherhood. They are the ones who eagerly ship their child/children to school as young as possible, the ones for whom a baby-sitter (any baby-sitter) will do, the ones who do not take time to dress him/her/them to look their best, do not take pride in being seen out and about with them but rather leave them behind every chance they have. Having a baby and motherhood…………the two are different and always will be.

  3. So precious and so beautiful! I will be sharing this on my Facebook page tomorrow. Also, I will be praying that one day the Lord will say YES to that desire of your heart to carry a baby in your womb. Even though it hasn’t happened and it seems impossible, He is able.

  4. Just moments ago I was sitting and speaking to my sister about embryo adoption. At first I was optimistic and then suddenly I became sad about why it just can’t happen for us like it does for everyone else? Why can’t we just get pregnant? It seems so unfair at times but you reminded me that God is so great that there is a lesson in the midst of such a storm as this. I thank you for your transparency and being a vessel for God’s purpose in your life!

  5. I am so thankful for your posts. I do not know anyone else in the same or even similar situation as mine, and it’s so helpful to read your posts. I do not know if what I have would be considered infertility, but that is what I call it because I am unable to carry a child to term. I have been pregnant 3 times and lost all 3 children in the second trimester, all in different situations. In 2006, I lost my first child suddenly around 19 weeks. I had to deliver the still born baby boy. In 2007, I had my second child prematurely at 23 weeks 2 days. He lived in the NICU for 38 days, but he didn’t survive. In 2014, I lost a child at about 16 weeks due to a subchorionic hematoma. I found out about the hematoma at about 6 weeks, so for 16 weeks, I lived in fear of losing the baby. I have been through so much physically, emotionally, and mentally that I know I will never try to have a biological child again.

    My husband and I adopted a baby girl in 2011, and she is the light of my life. I have learned more about Gods love because of her. I have a better picture of how much God loves us, as his adopted children. I know there is no difference between the love for a biological child and the love for an adopted child. I love her with all my heart and soul. I hope she knows how much I love her and how special she is.

    But I have sorrow in my heart. I feel like a piece of my heart is missing for my children that are in heaven. And I feel a sadness in my heart because I know that I will never have another biological child. Even though I am able to get pregnant, I am not emotionally or mentally able to go through it again. So day after day, I see people who are pregnant. Day after day, I see people posting their excitement on FB. I see the pregnancy announcements, the gender reveal parties, the baby bump pictures, the baby announcements, and the newborn pics, and I FEEL my heart hurting. I want to be happy for them, but all it does is make my heart feel like it is breaking all over again. I know that feeling will never go away. I feel such a deep deep sadness in my heart, that I don’t know how to find a deep joy. I am so so thankful God sent me a child to adopt, but the sorrow of losing my children and the sorrow of not being able to have a child always lingers.

    So Thank you for your posts. I can relate so well to your feelings and emotions, and that helps me so much. And it helps me to see how your relationship with God grows because of your struggle with infertility and how you turn to God for strength.

    1. Oh, Beth– what a hard road you have walked! I was just talking to a friend who has had a stillborn child, and she was sharing how there are no words to explain the feeling in the hospital room at the birth. Everything is just so opposite of what should be. I ache with you for your babies lost. <3

      I pray that the Lord will meet you in the midst. Through your adopted child. Through your prayer times. Through every day life. And you will taste His deep joy even while your sorrow.

  6. My issue is entirely different than infertility, as I am almost 70 years old. But the struggles, and sometimes the internal battles that I just cannot seem to overcome, are parallel in certain regards. I want to thank you for courageously opening up your heart and sharing this blog. Today, I found myself saying, “Jesus, I trust you for ‘x’ I trust you for ‘y’ And he calmed my spirit. Satan takes any disappointment, grief, or pain and wants to use it to drive a wedge between us in a our Abba. And it can make me feel so guilty when I don’t have a “victorious” attitude. So your sharing was an encouragement to me. God bless you. And by the way, I think your children are beautiful!!

    1. Lorie– isn’t it neat how we can experience such different circumstances, but God can be teaching us the same lessons? Thank you for your encouragement and sweet words. May you know Him more, dear one.

  7. Oh, sweet precious sister.

    You give me hope and break my heart all at the same time.

    Because I know that optimism so well– just as well as I know that pain of looking around the Bible study group and seeing all the mamas. (My group had so many blessings all at the same time- each one of them had a baby within 6 months of the others… so hard, but so beautiful).

    You give me hope that I can do this, even if it never happens for me, you know? And at the same time, it hurts that I can do this even if it never happens for me. Infertility is so complicated.

    I’m rambling, but I love you and I feel you and I pray for you. And for us. And for all the mamas, too.

    1. Ally, I am so thankful for others like you to be journeying this road along side me. I know the feelings and conflicting emotions so well. Yes, lets remember the mamas, and you and I, in prayer. And may God be glorified.

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