of knots

It was going to be a scarf. That was the plan. Sometimes plans get changed.

He walked in the room, that strong wonderful husband of mine, looked at the red yarn dangling from my hands, and said, “You’re making me an afghan?”

Two seconds of silence beat through the room. My gaze focused on his hopeful expression, at the smile curling his mouth. “Yes,” I answered, “do you like the color?”

He responded that he did and then went back to his business. Later I told him that my plan had changed. No longer a scarf for me, instead a blanket for him. His gaze grew warm and gentle and he held me close. “Thanks,” he whispered into my hair.

A week later, I sat there again. My crochet hook slid in and out, making a series of knots—all bound together. There was quiet in the room and I stared at the cloth in my hand. For some reason it really hit home. All I’m doing is making knots. One knot after another after another.

Thank you, God… that sometimes knots become a blanket. Sometimes the messy tangles of life eventually, with enough time, can become warm and safe.

My hand reached to loosen the yarn from the skein and nothing came. I shook it again, leaning over to the see. The ball of yarn had fallen to the floor but that wasn’t the issue. The carefully wrapped green had become tangled. I pulled it up and tried to loosen the great wad. I fussed and yanked until it was undeniably worse than when I started.

My husband looked up from his spot at the kitchen table. He stood, walked over, “Here,” he said quietly. His callused hands took the yarn and gently, patiently, he began to unwind. I relaxed and continue crocheting as he handed me length after length.

Thank you, God… that when my life becomes a hopeless mess—you’ve given me a man who is patient and loving and very, very good at untangling.

“Therefore we do not lose heart,

Though outwardly we are wasting away

Yet, inwardly we are being renewed

Day by day.

For our light and momentary troubles

Are achieving for us

An eternal glory that

Far outweighs them all.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

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[week.of.thanks] Have you thanked your spouse lately? Told them how much you appreciate them? So often I just march through life, focused so intently on the tangled mess around me- and I forget. I forget that my Husband has supported me, championed me, spoken grace over me and untangled my messes over and over… 

I thank God for making beauty from ashes. And I thank my husband for seeing something beautiful in me, when I’m still a mess.