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  1. Thank you Natasha! God seems to make sure your words always seek me out when I’m desperate to hear them. They always touch me profoundly and usually make me cry. There are no words to express the encouragement they give and the reminder that He is with me on this journey of infertility and that He has great plans for me. I pray He will allow me to see the difference I may have made with my Mother’s heart some day. Wishing you a blessed and peaceful Mother’s Day.❤

  2. Bethany Davis says:

    Hi Natasha,

    I have read this particular post over and over. I cannot imagine the pain you go through as you walk the road of infertility. I pray that God will always be your strongest comfort on those days that are especially hard.

    I am 30 and single, so of course, obviously I’m not married, nor do I have any kids of my own yet. I was the youngest of my family, so practicing with younger siblings was out of the question. I had no real experience with kids until my first nephew came along when I was close to 20. My journey in working with kids began in earnest when I was a week shy of my 21st birthday. I started babysitting for various family friends and taking care of my nephews. Then I also started volunteering in our Children’s Program at our women’s daytime bible study and working with the kids of the Leaders once a week in 2006 when I turned 21. I of course, fell in love with my nephews right off, and then the kids whom I worked with at Bible Study Fellowship (the women’s bible study I attend). I then got involved with CEF (Child Evangelism Fellowship) and started teaching at our local Good News Club at our school here in the small town where I live. I grew to love all the kids that I worked with and formed friendships with them. The year 2012 started me on the journey of my own “motherly” love for children. I got asked to be a Children’s Leader in the spring of 2012 for Bible Study Fellowship. I co taught the Infant/Toddler class that year of 2012-2013 and that was the first that I really felt an unspeakably deep love for the babies and toddlers in that little class. I have never felt love like that before, Natasha! I don’t know what switched, if it was praying for them, or spending the 2+ hours with them every Wednesday morning, or all the special moments that happened those 9 months. Maybe it was a combination of that. Whatever it was, I fell in love with them and I fell hard for them. I know that my heart broke each time one of them cried when I couldn’t stop the hurt or pain. I rejoiced when one of them accomplished a milestone or realized that Bible Study Fellowship was a wonderful place to be. People say that one doesn’t understand until one has a child of their own, well, I’m here to tell you that no, I don’t have any children of my own yet, but that I do understand the deep love for a child. I still get to see these little ones at our daytime bible study from time to time. I have not stopped caring about them even though it’s been three years since I had any significant contact with them. I wholeheartedly agree: true love belongs to more than just one mother. No, I haven’t yet carried a baby in my tummy, nor have I birthed a baby, nor have I stayed up all night for feedings, diapers or teething, or illness, but I promise you that I know that strong love for little ones, even though they aren’t my own. God definitely gave me love for the infants and toddlers whom I co taught at BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), and I wasn’t even remotely close to being a mother to any of those little ones. God can do some amazing things, can’t He?

    Thank you so much for sharing this, Natasha!
    God Bless!
    Bethany

    1. Bethany, what an incredible testimony! God is so, so good, is He not? I love your heart and I pray that the Lord will continue to use you in the lives of many, many children in the years to come. Blessings! -Natasha

      1. Bethany Davis says:

        Thank you for your sweet prayers and words, Natasha! They mean a great deal! For some reason, God has seen it fit to assign me to ministries with children and the elderly. Goodnight!
        Bethany

  3. Such a lovely post. Thank you for your vulnerability. How my aching heart has longed to see that big fat positive on a pregnancy test, carry a little one in my tummy, and celebrate a new life. He has been showing me lately that not only does He already know the mornings we’ll wake up and feel defeated, but He’s already placed people and words along our path that will encourage and uplift us throughout that very day. He is SUCH a personal God. I was dreading Mother’s Day, but I’m reminded it’s a beautiful celebration of my sweet mother, the other mother-figures in my life, and the college students I’ve been allowed to mother at church. Pressing on!

  4. Oh yes oh yes oh yes. How I have longed to have this understood. I am the only member of my family who has been able to bear children. Both of my brother’s and their wives will never conceive. My heart shouts this out because I see their mothering (and fathering) and I KNOW it echoes to the same chord that sings in me. You are such a beautiful mother, Natasha. I do not know if I have told you this before, but every Mother’s Day, I think of you.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      You are always such a huge encouragement to me! Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, and for hearing my heart. <3

  5. Gail Snave says:

    Amen Tash! Beautifully said ! We spent many years of disappointment trying to have a child. My first living child was adopted as were others. Some were Teens who came to our house who needed mothering others from other countries I have a Brazilian daughter, and an Indian daughter, she lives in India. And is now 10 I may never see her while on this earth we write and send pictures. She loves Jesus.We will one day be in heaven with all my babies that did not survive and perhaps meet for the first time.

  6. Isaiah is filled with rich, powerful Scripture and you’ve quoted some that speak beautifully to the grace of God. Only through His grace does any of us experience mother-love, a reflection of His love for His children. Often childless women reflect His love, mother-love if you will, much better than those who birthed children. Your posts are always thought-provoking and moving, Tasha. Live blessed.

  7. Your post’s always touch me. This is so beautiful and so true.

  8. I recently made an online-scrapbook of my houseparent years. It arrived in the mail today and I flipped through it with a smile on my face, because despite the fact that there are very few people with whom I feel free to call myself “a mother” – those girls made me a mother.

    I do my best to empathize with those women who gush about “not knowing what love is” – because i know they experienced something life-changing, but it hurts on a variety of levels depending on the day. I think next time I’ll try to reply, “No, I don’t know that feeling. But I know the heart-about-to-burst love of investing into the lives of children. I know what it’s like to stand in awe of my creator who hears the barren woman’s cry and make her the happy mother of children. I know that beautiful mysterious miracle.”

  9. Thanks for sharing your heart girlie and never be afraid to press the “publish” button 🙂

    waitingforbabybird.com

  10. Interesting point! This has my mental gears turning now. Something special happened to me when I birthed my babies, but I also think it was because God used that opportunity to enlarge my heart. It wasn’t just because a kid came out my hips. 🙂
    For example… oftentimes my single friends tell me that I must have a wonderful life and that I can’t know what true loneliness or insecurity or depression is because I’ve been married since I was a young teenager.
    Just about anyone that’s been married for any length of time can probably laugh at that accusation. No matter how great your spouse is, marriage isn’t the cure of all loneliness and insecurity. Sure, God can use marriage to heal certain issues, but that doesn’t mean the marriage is the healer, GOD is the healer. He just happened to use your spouse as His tool.
    I think natural parenthood is misunderstood much the same way. Having a baby of one’s own isn’t the cure of all issues, and it’s not something that somehow makes one greater or more “loving” than a childless woman. All of us know pain and all of us know joy in our own ways. Each unique way an individual experiences pain or joy is special, and shouldn’t be used as ammo against the way another individual experiences pain or joy. God can use all of it, and He does.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Beautiful example, Jessiqua! And it is exactly what God has taught me. He strives to teach us all the same lessons, but knowing us intimately, He uses many different avenues to teach us.

      I love that you caught what I was saying, and hopefully others will as well! (I always get nervous as I press publish… “What if I just offended all mothers? What if I didn’t make ANY sense? 🙂 )

      1. Honestly, it WAS tough at first. Because I really did have a special experience when I birthed my babies. However, I also see that God is the ONLY one that can enlarge a heart like He did mine. And I know that He uses tons of different situations to do that. And I would hate to look down on someone’s experience because it didn’t mirror mine. That would be close-minded, I think.

        1. Natasha Metzler says:

          Hmm… Yes. It is a very tricky thing, and I hope that I didn’t down-play the experience of birth– that certainly wasn’t my heart’s intent.

          I once had a mother tell me that her mother-love didn’t come at the birth of her child, but at the moment when her baby girl got sick and she had to make the decision to take her to the hospital. The moment the doctor said, “You made the right choice to come in.” she said it was like something came to life inside her.

          That’s always stuck with me… that mother-love can come in different ways for different people. And, like you said, every person’s story is valid.

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