“She’s not coming home,” I whispered to my husband on a quiet August afternoon in 2013. It was our first failed adoption and when we got the email that our placement had fallen through—everything in my body went limp. I thought this child was the one who would usher us into parenthood, but instead, the…
I sat in my parent’s office that afternoon, working diligently to get my lesson planned for our next meeting. The girls in my discipleship group would be gathering that week and we were going to be talking about intercession. Part of the lesson was on how Jesus intercedes for us, but I wanted to focus…
My husband and I had only been married a few years when friends of ours lost a baby at the end of their pregnancy. I was devastated for them. But I’ll be honest, I had no idea how to show love to them. I prayed, a lot. I tried to listen. But I felt at…
I stayed home from church that Sunday. My husband kissed me goodbye and whispered, “I’m so sorry, love.” I waved to the family and then sat down with a cup of coffee and a few wayward tears still staining my cheeks. I didn’t long to be alone, but I also knew it was okay. I…
When Amos & I were first married, we moved a load of small square bales. By the time we were done, I was almost in tears. Amos was chattering away, oblivious to me and I was so hurt by how clearly he seemed to be dismissing me & my pain. Which I told him. To…
Many years ago I spent some time studying Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, Samson’s mother, and Elizabeth in the Bible. Their connection? Infertility is part of their story. That study has impacted my journey and my writing a lot– but one particular part was (what I would call) “the exclamation point” on my wrestling with God…
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