All she wanted was to have a baby. It wasn’t a huge thing—plenty of people have them. But, for her it didn’t happen. And every month the seed of bitterness dug deeper into her heart. Anger. Self-pity. Resentment. Pride. Dark ugliness that tangled her heart and left her unable to interact with those around her…
On Tuesday of last week I was tempted again. It’s so silly and so ridiculous, I know. Something will happen, something a little different than normal, and every hopeful piece of my heart will jump and skitter with excitement, and my prayers will become a repetitive, “Oh, Lord, have mercy on me…” and then when…
Two and a half years ago, our almost-adopted daughter died. We thought she would live. We thought God would work a miracle. We thought there was no reason why God would have brought us all the way to a baby’s bedside in the NICU, only to be left with empty arms. We didn’t understand what…
Thirteen years. It has been thirteen years since I sat in a doctor’s office and was handed a diagnosis that would become a gaping wound in my life. This fall it will be ten years since I carried that wound into my marriage. Infertility has been a deep aching sorrow that has left a trail…
When the doctor told me I had the “leading cause of infertility”, there were many other words that followed hers and seemed to cling to me. Failure. Ugly. Broken. Unworthy. I heard them and when the months and years seemed to prove the label of “infertility” right, I allowed all those other words to label…
Infertility has a way of sneaking in and taking over your life. Trust me, I know. And it’s one thing for your daily life to be dictated by a monthly-cycle of ups and downs, but it’s another thing entirely when relationships start being controlled by it. Women who face infertility have been known to shut…
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