There are days when we are forced to carry burdens that are larger than our strength.
I know.
I still remember the day when we learned that the child we planned on adopting was no longer available to us.
I was so broken, so lost, so confused. We had loved her, and shared smiles with her when she was told we would be her family. I would do anything to keep additional pain from her, but I couldn’t do a blooming thing to stop it. And I nearly crumbled under the weight of the sorrow.
It was a death sentence I couldn’t fight.
Paul understood this. He told the Corinthians that when he and Timothy were in Asia, they had felt they were “utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.” But then he shared something startlingly glorious.
In the months that followed our failed adoption, I came to this realization. This type of death sentence was necessary in my life. It was necessary to remind me that I cannot rely on my own strength. Ever. I have to rely on the One who is able to breath life into things that are dead.
I have to remember how the Lord works. He brings victory from defeat, builds mighty armies from dry bones, and through death He brings life.
Nine months later (oh, the beautiful little things our God does!) we brought our daughter home. No, it wasn’t the child we thought God was giving us. It was our daughter. The one who did not come through our will or our strength, but came through our God who knows the beginning and the end. The One who raises the dead, and breathes life into dreams that have turned to dust.
The death sentence you are facing today? May it remind you to not rely on yourself, but on Him who raises the dead.
Thank you. I haven’t gone through a failed adoption, but I did have foster children who lived with my family for a time and then left our home. So I feel your pain a little bit. I still miss my little K in particular, but am blessed to know she’s in a Christian forever-family. I loved reading your writing before God gave you the gift of your daughter, but I love it even more now as I see His faithfulness playing out in ways beyond our imagination. It helps me to trust that he has good plans for me and my life (and my pain) as well. Thank you for sharing your “Ebeneezers” 🙂
Thankyou for reminding me not to rely on myself , my own strength, knowledge etc.. but rely on the one who can and will do more than we ask or think… when something seems the end it could be just the beginning of what God has planned all along!
Thank you for this post today. It hit me right where I needed it and even though I’ve been struggling through some very hard things recently, I know God will give me strength beyond my own and carry me through. Thank you!
Tasha This is an encouragement for me today. Thank you for sharing your pain and journey.