• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Natasha Metzler

learning to delight in a promise-making God

  • About
  • Books
    • Counting Grains of Sand
    • Christmas!
    • Pain Redeemed
    • WordSnacks
    • Dairy Farmer Book
    • Dying of Thirst at the Side of a Well
    • OLIVE PRESS PUBLISHERS
  • Links
    • Popular Posts
  • Blog
    • Infertility
    • Adoption
    • Living Faith
  • Contact

Living for Him

taste of {beautiful}

It happened the way it always happens. Ever since, well, a long time ago. I walked in, looked around for a familiar face. Searching for the spot where I will feel the most special, the most loved, will laugh the most…

Then the inevitable. “We have a place over here…” And once again I’m led away from the ones who make me feel safe. Once again I’m sitting at a table with people that I don’t know.

I lean over and whisper to my husband, “I hate this…” and he smiles that sad smile. The one that says, “I would change the world to make you happy, but I can’t.” So I sit back and look around and no one smiles and no one says, “Oh! I want you! Come here!” Instead I sit alone.

Then in the midst of my jumbled confusion I hear the voice. The one that I’ve been trying to memorize the sound of. Morning and night, I run my eyes and fingers over the words, listening so hard. Searching for inflection and thoughts.

“Embrace where you are.”

He says it quietly and I know that if I hadn’t been working at listening, I would have missed it. But I hear it.

What did I have to lose? So I sat back. Breathed deeply, looked at the lady across the table from me and smiled, entering into a conversation where I felt awkward and insecure.

A few minutes later another woman entered the room. She wasn’t like the women around me who were laughing and telling jokes in private circles. She was alone. And because of a strange set of circumstances, I know some of her inside things. The pain that is trying to strangle her. So I stood and walked and smiled and talked. And for a moment I glimpsed something beautiful.

And it starts a chain reaction. Person to person. Talking. Not chatting but real talking. Opening and showing and being. And His voice gets louder and my flesh burns. And I see beauty.

It’s in the girl with the crooked smile who is serving my dinner. The woman across from me who is searching so hard for acceptance. The ladies to my right who lean over to each side of me and cover me in grace. In the tears of a friend who is sharing her heart- right there, in the middle of all these people.

Then the truth hits. It really isn’t any of them. It’s Him. It’s me having my eyes open to Him. And I see His reflection all around.

I look up in time to see the bridegroom sweep his bride off her feet and into his arms. Everyone laughs and cheers.

And I remember times when he was ready to give up- ready to settle for something less than beautiful- and my heart aches at the joy on his face as he looks down at his new wife, the fulfillment of so many dreams. My childhood friend has grown up to be a man worth knowing.

And I remember a time when I was ready to give up. Ready to settle for something less than beautiful. And my heart aches with joy. That my King should be so gracious to me, so loving, so patient… someday, someday, when all this flesh is burned and gone– Oh, God, let the things that are left be worth knowing.

edited re-post

Related Posts

  • Close Your Eyes {And See}
  • things i love about my husband {7} friendships
  • Quiet God (when God seems silent)Quiet God (when God seems silent)
  • laughter in truth (friendships)laughter in truth (friendships)
Share
Pin
Tweet
Email
Print

2 Comments

Christmas!

“If you buy just one book for Advent this year, make it this one.”

Buy This Book Online
Buy from Christian Book Distributor
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Barnes and Noble
Olive Press
Buy from GoodReads
Christmas! the whole story of the God who loves
Buy now!
Previous Post: « weekend [links]
Next Post: re-builder of broken walls and broken lives »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You have to agree to the comment policy.

Comments

  1. grandmaterrylee says

    February 7, 2012 at 2:06 am

    I love to read your post. You have such a gift with words. HUGS Natasha!!!!

    Reply
  2. Trina Holden says

    February 6, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    Thank you for reminding me of the beauty of life when we are tuned into that voice. I’m afraid I strayed rather far today…reading this whets my appetite to press in again – right now! Thank you!

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

Hi, I’m Natasha

wp_20160708_23_30_06_pro

I’m so excited you stopped by! I pray your visit here will be encouraging. You will find books, and stories, and posts on infertility and adoption and faith.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Subscribe for a free copy of my eBook.

NOW AVAILABLE

counting-grains-of-sand-cover

WordSnacks: Bite-sized Devotionals for Your Hungry Moments

Buy This Book Online
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Barnes and Noble
Buy from GoodReads
Buy from CreateSpace
WordSnacks (Volume 1)
Buy now!

Looking for something?

Join Swagbucks!
You Can Get Free Gift Cards at Swagbucks.com

Get encouragement like this in your inbox.

  • Home
  • About
  • Books
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Disclosure
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2019 · Natasha Metzler · All Rights Reserved