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  1. I love this post. I so resonate with the notion of “knowing what the Bible says” because you have grown up in church! I’ve never read my Bible during the times that I have been angry with God, because I just simply wasn’t walking with God at the time. But, in the past year or two, God really convicted me about being faithful about being in His Word, and I understand the heart of this post. It is about trust. You keep reading because you are keeping yourself open to hearing from God, even if you are scared of being hurt. You keep reading and hearing from God because you have faith that His words are true. Reading His word is simply an action that says “I trust You today”.

    I loved the line where you compared His Word to manna. Wow, that opened my eyes! I’m glad you are so desirous to encourage others to get into the Word, because truly that is where our faith grows. His Word is what changes us into His image.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Oh, you said this so well! It is about trust. Exactly.

      I’m so glad that you were encouraged and so thankful that you took a moment to comment– because this beautiful comment has encouraged me so greatly in return! {hugs}

  2. You said “If all my writings put together could do but one thing, I pray that it be this: You will open your Bible and start reading. Even if you’re confused. Even if you’re angry.” you have spoken right to my heart. I shall be returning for more of your wisdom.

  3. txcollies says:

    This has really hit home for me. I am am struggling through singleness, trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing with my life, job hunting etc, and hosts of confusion, fear and doubt about so many things in my life have been camping at my heart’s door for the past couple of years.

    I am angry. Nothing in my life has turned out the way I thought it would turn out. A lot of the struggles I’m going through I was never even warned could happen. (Growing up in a lovely homeschooled family I think my parents just expected their daughters would get married – it seemed like a certain thing in their mind.)

    I haven’t touched my Bible in weeks. I feel so horrible admitting it – I am a preacher’s daughter & granddaughter! But it’s true. I don’t even know where to try to start reading again. πŸ™

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Oh, my, I understand this feeling.
      When all you planned on for life just gets swept right away.
      Wish I could give you a hug.

      Start with John 9. It is one of the chapters that began wiping the blindness out of my eyes.

  4. thank you for hearing not only my words, but the pain behind them.

    “Jesus is.”

    love that. we stand together, friend. blessings to you.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      and you.

      May you feel Him more each day. You, who are so dear to His heart.


  5. you wrote this very well. such a story of heartbreaking silence, screaming in that empty kitchen. oh, i get that.
    and i’m glad that you are finding life again in the Bible. but i hope i can suggest something without being disagreeable. there *is* a time where some kinds of healing need to be ministered to by the Spirit of the Living God aside from the words on a page. He can certainly speak THRU the words written, but that is not the only way that He speaks. as is true with most theology, this opinion of mine is really a statement of autobiography. we have come from a situation where the Bible was used as a weapon more than a balm; a place of stringent legalistic adherence. and it takes time away from the source of the injury to heal sometimes. i find myself wincing at Scriptures, much like an abused child will recoil at the extension of even a gentle adult hand. this has become a season for us of finding that God can heal and speak in ways we never expected. He stretches to meet us right where we’re at — ALWAYS. this is the Gospel i bet my life on.
    again, i do not want to oppose the heart of your post, or disregard the validity of your experience. just wanted to humbly offer my viewpoint, in the interest of a larger picture, perhaps. blessings on your journey.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Oh, Kelli, I think you are so, so right. The Holy Spirit has and will continue to speak beyond the Words of Scripture.

      The thing that I found though, was that I quickly forgot what His voice sounds like when I wasn’t comparing the things I heard with the truth of Scripture. My mind and heart filled with so many other things, so much of my own hurt and heartache, and I could not hear Him.

      I got to the place where I was searching for anything, anything that would let me escape my pain. And it wasn’t truth. Not at all.

      I know that many have abused the Word of God– I have sludged through my own experiences of Spiritual abuse– but I also know of many who have gotten very lost and embraced something other than the God I serve in search of obliterating their pain.

      Jesus is. End of story. And the Bible is still the most trustworthy witness we have of His life and His teachings and His love.

  6. So beautifully written! An important message I needed to be reminded of as I’m in a season of feeling empty. Thanks for ministering a much needed word to my heart.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      I am so thankful it blessed you. May you taste more of Him…

  7. So, so good, Natasha. I loved this “To think that I could live today on what I knew from yesterday was a foolish and empty thought. Like manna, the Word is new every morning. We can only eat enough for today, this moment. Tomorrow we must return and dig deep again.”

    So, so, sooo true!!

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thanks, Christin. I am so often reminded of this– and I am so thankful that He returns with fresh water, fresh life, each day.

  8. What beauty! Your words took me back to my own times of pain. His Words to me in those times were balm to my soul. I love what you said here, “My circumstances and experiences draw lines under words. They highlight thoughts and translate ideas. . .
    To think that I could live today on what I knew from yesterday was a foolish and empty thought. Like manna, the Word is new every morning. We can only eat enough for today, this moment. Tomorrow we must return and dig deep again.”

    I’m so glad you left a comment on my page today so that I come to your blog and read this. I look forward to reading more!

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      He is so good, isn’t he?

      So glad you stopped by. πŸ™‚

  9. The Word builds up and builds up and builds up. I love this. And, I forget this too often. Thank you for writing these beautiful words and reminding me to go back to the well. Beautiful writing!

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thanks, Karin!

  10. Oh Natasha…such words πŸ™‚

    On a funny note….I still use the same NIV Teen Study Bible that I had as a teen {obviously}. What’s funny is seeing the words that I highlighted 15 years ago and how my perception of those words has changed over time.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      I have my old Bible as well, and I do the same thing! πŸ™‚

  11. fullherlife says:

    Just beautiful Natasha… ~Blessings, Amy

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you, Amy!

  12. I think you may have jump started my heart……I’ve been angry with God for quite a season. Angry with him because he hasn’t blessed my husband and I with children. Angry that my life didn’t go the way I thought it was supposed to go. I’ve been parched, now it’s time to drink of his Word. Thank you!

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Oh, how I understand. May you drink deep. Blessings, friend.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Yes! Absolutely.

  13. Thank you for this, Natasha. I’ve been going through a very dry season in my life these past few months. Lacking the water of the Word. Just this morning, during what was an unusually peaceful start to the day, I felt the Spirit pricking me that today should be the day I picked up my well-worn Bible once again and explored God’s words to me. Your timely post was like a hug from a friend, encouraging me to do just that.


    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      So glad. {hugs}

  14. YES I have experienced this, twice. As a kid who grew up in the church I thought I pretty much knew what the Bible said at 13. I went through a period of depression in Jr. High and started telling people I no longer believed in God. A Preacher’s wife gave me a NKJV Spirit Filled Bible and my eyes were opened! Then after I had my son I went through Post Partum Depression and I went through it alone. That was a dark time filled with baby coos and smiles. Thankfully I started going to church again so that my son would grow up knowing God. Eventually (6mn later) I picked my Bible back up and found some scriptures that seemed new even though I know I had to have read them before.
    For the rest of my story visit my Testimony Page-

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Love this, Symanntha. So much. <3

  15. Natasha,
    This is beautiful. You truly painted a picture of your pain, and His redemption through the seasons. Thank you for sharing such deep and beautiful words. xoxo

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thanks, Mandy.

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