I learned to worship by watching my mom. She laughed when she sang and something vibrant seemed to spill out of her. She would whisper words to me when I was struggling to learn music, struggling to find the right keys. “It’s all for Him, Tashie-girl,” she would say, “don’t worry about anyone listening. Just give Him the very best you have.”
Eventually I was a worship leader. I was always nervous, carefully picking songs in just the right key so the probability of me starting in the wrong key were as low as possible. Sometimes I wanted to quit, but I knew God was asking this of me for a time. Could I stand in front of people and still just give everything to Him? I found that to be real in front of people, I had to live worship when no one was looking. When I spent time in the Word, time on my knees– I was able to sing, to raise my hands, to truly worship God with my heart. It was for His glory because He is worthy of the praise of all people.
Then God took me through a quiet season. A season of sitting in the back row and whispering prayers and searching for Him in the twists and turns of life. I questioned everything I believed and learned to worship from the depths of who I was– honoring Him for the depths of who He is. When I sang, “I’m falling on my knees…” I really did it. Whether I felt like it or not. Because I wanted my words to be true. And in the forced humility of those moments, I found the deep melody of praise. He is God and King and Glory. And I am empty without Him.
Now I am the mother and there is someone watching me. When I just want to hide and worship in quiet, my daughter is right there with her eyes glued to me– and I have to keep going and keep being real. When I want to just stand because I don’t like attention being on me, I still need to raise my hands in surrender. Because [pullquote]whether I am hidden in my room, or standing in front of thousands, God is still worthy of all my worship. [/pullquote]
Revelation 4 reminds me of this. When I read about the throne of God and the splendor of His majesty, I am forced look at the true glory of the God I serve. And when I read about the living creatures who stay constantly around His throne saying,
“Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come.”
I am quieted in awe of who He actually is.
He is, of course, my personal Savior. The God who gave everything to establish relationship with me. But He is also the Omnipotent Creator. The ruler of all.
He is King.
And no matter who is watching, or who isn’t, our job is to give Him praise and glory for who He is. To actually live worship. Because He is worthy.
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