I'm a fairly sensitive person. I say "fairly" because I don't always come off as sensitive. It often looks like I am okay, but deep down? I wound easily and have a hard time processing hard things. Because of this, I have a tendency to look ahead to try and prepare myself for painful things. I want to protect my heart from needless wounds, so I try to put on some armor before the … [Read more...] about How Do I Protect My Heart From Infertility?
Infertility
Is God Big Enough to Give Me A Baby?
It’s been over a decade now. A decade of wondering and hoping and praying that God will heal my body and allow it to conceive, carry, and deliver a child. I’ve watched Him move on the behalf of others. I’ve heard the stories of miracles, of friends and relatives who went 7, 10, 15, even 20 years and then brought home a baby. “It’s still possible,” I would whisper to myself. “Even if the … [Read more...] about Is God Big Enough to Give Me A Baby?
You can Survive the Wilderness of Infertility
The wilderness seems like a place of want, but it’s actually a place of plenty-- if you know where to look. I learned this the hard way--with hunger and raving thirst clawing, dropping me to my knees in surrender. Just like the Israelites learned to know God in the wilderness, I also met Him there in a new way. The wilderness-loss that I carried was named infertility and, like all types of … [Read more...] about You can Survive the Wilderness of Infertility
How to Wage War on the Lies of Infertility
It’s been over a decade now that infertility has marked my life. Long before we brought our adopted children home, I faced off with infertility. I crawled to the feet of Jesus, begging Him to break the hold this agony had on me. I wrote Pain Redeemed from the middle of that place and I chose to declare Jesus the winner. Today and for good. Yet, there is a paradox in the Christian faith. It’s … [Read more...] about How to Wage War on the Lies of Infertility
She was good, so God gave her babies.
I still remember the wild fear that rushed through me. The way everything slowed and my heart raced and instinct took over. There is no way I would have had the gumption to take on a two thousand pound mama cow who was charging—except for one small detail: my daughter was on the wrong side of the gate. I doubt I have ever moved that fast in my life, but the straw bale I had been carrying … [Read more...] about She was good, so God gave her babies.
How To See Pain With True Sight
“Mom, look at me!” I turned my head toward my son and he stared at my face intently. “Your eye is really red,” he pointed out. I nodded. “It’s irritated from the sun and dust.” He jumped down and raced off to examine another tractor at the auction. As soon as I arrived home that night, I pulled out my contacts and rinsed my eyes with solution, trying to shake free the gritty dustiness … [Read more...] about How To See Pain With True Sight