infertility

The Cycle of Dreams

The Cycle of Dreams

I looked down and saw that the lilac bloom in my hand was crushed under the intensity of my prayer. I didn’t want to pray it, I hardly even believed the prayer, but I knew I had to. Yet, something in me was clinging tight to the lilac, to my dreams of a springtime wedding, to my hopes for a husband and partner to materialize from thin air.

How I was surprised by motherhood

How I was surprised by motherhood

I had always planned on motherhood. On middle-of-the-night feedings, hauling around car seats, wiping up spit-up, learning to change diapers one-handed. I studied all the tricks on getting littles to eat vegetables and the easiest ways to swaddle.

I was a teacher by nature. I learned the best by teaching others and motherhood seemed like the perfect fit. In teaching my children to know God, I would know Him better. Motherhood would please both Him and me.

The truth is that motherhood looked a certain way to me.

A Story and a Book

A Story and a Book

This past summer was one of the most difficult summers of my life. There were incredible highs where memory-making once-in-a-life-time things happened, and incredible lows where we faced loss and sorrow in a very deep and life-altering way. It was a bit like the year I got married, which was also the year I began…

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