This past summer was one of the most difficult summers of my life. There were incredible highs where memory-making once-in-a-life-time things happened, and incredible lows where we faced loss and sorrow in a very deep and life-altering way.
It was a bit like the year I got married, which was also the year I began my battle with infertility and depression. A year where I found myself caught in the perpetual swing between the joys of being a newlywed and the sorrows of lost dreams.
It took me years to crawl out of the depression that began in that first year. I still cringe a bit when I read things I wrote from that time. Even when I was trying to be light-hearted and funny, it was more cynical and angry.
Thankfully, God met me. He drew me out and freed me up and I was able to see beauty even in the loss and pain. Glorious.
This year as we waded back into some of the perpetual swings and deeper tastes of loss, I was a bit apprehensive. I had no desire to go back .
But today I am struck by the goodness of God. The way His grace pours out into us and soothes us and grows us up.
I wrote a book this year.
At one point during the writing I thought, “What am I doing? This doesn’t even make sense. Maybe it’s just silly and should be tossed.” But something propelled me forward and I kept writing and kept calling my mom up to read her sections. I kept pestering my husband for stories. I kept asking questions on my facebook feed and scribbling down answers from all over the country.
It wasn’t until the book was in the hands of my editor, and I was waiting to get her “yay” or “nay” on the publishable scale, that I realized why God had me write this book right now.
This book is proof that God has changed me. Oh, glory. He has changed me. I am different than I was. I can’t tell you how beautiful those words are.
This summer, during this incredibly hard season, I wrote a book full of humor.
And it’s funny.
It’s not cynical or angry.
It’s just funny.
And that, friends, is the grace of God in my life.
The Thing About Dairy Farmers releases on December 2nd. Join me next week for a chance to win an advance e-version of the book (we’ll be giving one away every day!) and to hear a few stories that didn’t quite make it in the book (but are pretty darn funny anyway).
Want to enter to win a free copy right now? Just jump over to the book page and leave a comment about farming. It can be a story. A joke. A comment about the one time you ran into a farmer at the Broadway show in New York City and they refused to remove their hat, blocking your view through the entire thing. You know, whatever. 🙂