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  1. “Tears blurred my vision because this is it, isn’t it? The greatest fear I carry, the reason pain debilitates me. I see the journey through pain as the lack of love. And I fear that I am unlovable and unwanted and unworthy.”

    For the past month and a half this very thought runs through my head and I am crushed with fear and doubt. The despair that sits quietly in my heart is awakened and flows out freely and washes over me. I pray and pray to get through and that it doesn’t consume me. I know I have to be strong, I know I have to take heart and trust in the Lord. But honestly, I feel my faith wavering and I don’t know how to hold on. I just feel despair and when that subsides, I feel empty.

    I found this today and it gave me a bit of hope. Thank you for sharing your story.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      {hugs} I am so thankful that I could be used to give you a taste of hope. Many blessings, friend.

  2. I really appreciate these convicting, true words. Finding God in the midst of my pain has not always been easy, but it’s necessary. So often I lose sight of the fact that He is always there, never forsaking me, forever present, and get muddled in the murky, painful facts of reality. Thank you for sharing your heart, Natasha! It blessed me.

  3. Big huge, messy hugs *hugs*

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you, Jess, for all your prayers and constant encouragement. xxooxx

  4. As much as it hurts….and I know each time you pour this here, it’s a sacrifice…but as much as it hurts you are a very good steward of the pain and the lessons of deep faith and joy God is giving you. <3

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you, dear friend. <3

  5. wonderful writing, Natasha.
    Finding God in our pain, in His Word, where he promises to be…
    it is so hard, with the loose ends, and the aching, and the children that should be here but are not.

    But you are right, He is here.
    It will not always be this way.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you, Emily. And isn’t that the promise that brings joy into it all? It will not always be this way. Amen and amen.

  6. In your deepest hurt, Tasha, you’ve discovered what faith is all about–turning to face God, to see Him, even when our hearts writhe in pain and we see no end to it. In Him is that end. Blessings, my friend. *hugs*

  7. Friend, your honesty is incredible. But I know that doesn’t make a difference in the moments that your arms are just empty and your heart aches and your mind screams “Enough.” All I know is that He will be enough for each of those moments. Somehow. It is a mystery to me. This is still his mosaic that he’s carefully putting together. Cracked, shards of glass will tell His story. And you will radiate in the beauty. Until then, hold on. Look up.
    Hugs!

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      He is enough, isn’t He? Such goodness still astounds me. I have loved watching His hand in your life as well. We each have our story and may they each bring glory to His name, above all.

  8. My heart hurts with yours.

    This is very close to home for us right now (and will be for a while, I’m sure.) Meggie made sure to leave certain items here. Lord haste the day when there is no “leaving” at all.

    I’m going to pray for you tonight, with a heart full of faith. I am begging at the table with you.

    <3

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you. And thank you for being willing to share your family’s story as well– while the outcome may be different, I know that others have journeyed through similar difficulties and God has always been faithful.

  9. Wow, what a journey. I could feel your heart breaking over this. Peace after that is hard to come by…amazing how He revealed Himself to you. Hugs.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      It does feel amazing, every time. I don’t know why I doubt…

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you, friend. He is so good to meet us right in the middle, isn’t He?

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