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  1. I first read this post over a year ago, but today, on my 30th birthday, I came back to find it and read it again. These words are inhalation of truth to my heart. Thank you.

    This statement really resonated today: “Why does thirty seem so hard? It’s not like it’s suddenly impossible that You might move on my behalf. But I guess it feels more improbable. And no matter what, no matter how You choose to act– it won’t be what I wanted.”

    Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling right now.
    But God is good.
    And His plans are for my good and His glory.
    It’s good to breathe in words of encouragement from someone who understands.

  2. Bethany Davis says:

    Hi Natasha,

    OK! I’m home alone for now, reading through some of your posts and ran across this one. I must confess that I chuckled silently to myself at your daughter’s comment about you adopting her so you could have a slave. My 10 year old nephew said something alone those same lines a couple years ago to his Mama. He isn’t adopted, but he hates doing the dishes, so he said something about the fact that Mama and Da had him so they could have someone do the dishes or something like that.

    I just turned 30 in September, and even though it’s by choice of me not dating or actively looking for a man, sometimes it’s hard when I see or hear of people younger who are married and have kids of their own, yet I’m 30 and still waiting for “The One” and kids. Thank you for your encouragement! There are times I relish my singleness, I love the fact that I don’t have all the worries that comes with having kids, but there are some times that I wish I could experience what it’s like to feel a baby kick or move inside you. Thank you for the reminder about whatever seems bad, can be for your good.
    God Bless!
    Bethany

  3. I am turning 32 on the 4th next month and still no babies. Had a lot of miscarriages for the past 8 years that I’ve been married, but I’m still holding on to God’ promise .I have mourned ,wept and cried, but there is a certain peace that holds me whenever I cry .I just know that its God, He will do it for me .Thanks so much for this post , it has encouraged so much.

  4. I’m turning 34 this summer and 33 is when my mom had me. For some reason I had 33 as my last hope year. Now turning 34 with empty arms, 1 baby born asleep and another that didn’t even make it to 9 weeks in the womb I battle the depression that threatens to overwhelm me. I loved your post today about thanking him before the miracle arrives. I so appreciate your blog. Keep sharing your heart. I need it.

  5. Anyone else 40+ and feeling the same way? I just turned 41 and have been going through the same struggle every birthday for years. I got divorced and went back to school when I turned 30. I remarried a few years later and finished school when I was 38. I thought I would have kids by now, but now we’re practically Sarah and Abraham over here. 😉 Meanwhile my younger sister just had her fourth. I love being an aunt, but it just isn’t the same. I’ve never stopped praying about it, but nothing feels right – foster, adopt, none of it…. God must have other plans for me.

  6. I know for me turning 30 was easy, but I know that it would’ve have been so much harder. I remember waking up that morning and saying to my husband, “This day could have been truly devastating to me…if things had been different.”

    Man makes plans and God laughs…or so the saying goes. I think it’s more man makes plans, but God has something better. At least I have to hope he does, because shelving those plans and dreams of our own is hard.

  7. I am so grateful for your honesty and vulnerability. Thank you for aways, always coming back to the truth. Our life stories aren’t identical but so often your posts reflect my own struggles and questions. I have been encouraged over and over again by what God is doing in your life. This post was needed reminder. Thank you!

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      I am so thankful. <3 <3

  8. “Sometimes we can’t trust our feelings. ”

    That single sentence spoke volumes to me. It’s Oh, SO true!! We can’t trust our feelings or let our feelings get in the way of what God is speaking to us. (Trusting our feelings can quite often lead us down the wrong paths actually.)
    Thank you.

  9. These words are so good for me to read and ponder. I’m also turning 30 this year and fully expected I’d be a mom several times over by now! That was before infertility became part of my journey. I thank God for directing me to your blog and book. He has ministered so graciously through you! Thank you.

  10. Your words came at the right time for me. I turned 30 only a week ago, and am yet to have the babies I dreamed of. I thought I would have a handful of children by age 30. The number just seemed to show the marching of time and signify how my life had not turned out as I would have planned it. Often I struggle to believe that God’s plans for me are good. Thank you for this reminder. My word for this year is “open.” I am praying to let go of my expectations and plans and be open to whatever God has for me. Thanks for the reminder that what God has in store will be good.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      What a beautiful word of the year! To face life with open hands– trusting Him. <3 <3

  11. Thank you for this encouragement. we all face all kinds of death of our wants – I will be turning 38 this may and not only I don’t have babies – nor will i ever be a young mother or with many children – but I also have zero prospect of marriage.

    Indeed God is good no matter how I feel or what happens (and the meaning I give to what happens). Sometimes there are still atrocities that I cannot reconcile with God’s goodness – like death or torture of children, stupid accidents, illnesses – but I am the clay and cannot demand on the Potter’s actions. But I can love and worship Him no matter what.
    And I can trust that He is indeed who He reveals Himself to be, even if I don’t understand how.

  12. I will be thirty and my womb is currently empty, so hard to be patient in the waiting, to have hope in the struggle, to cling to the dream that is an unknown at this point. My husband helps me keep the faith and we trust the Lord’s perfect plan for us even when it hurts. Thank you for this today!

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you. <3 May you know more of God's presence this year, Jaclynn. He has good for you.

  13. Your words are so inspiring and turn me right back to the Lord and his word. They are always thought provoking, encouraging and full of truth. May God richly bless you and your family. “Woman of Valor”. I really like that!

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Mhmmm…. may you be blessed as well, Denise! <3

  14. Loved your post! 30 is so young! You have at least a decade of possibility in front of you and that is just in human terms and with God nothing is impossible!! God does delight in giving good things to us and I pray he continues to do that for you and your growing family this year. God bless you .

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you for your encouragement, Beth. 🙂 Yes, in many ways I am still young. It’s definitely not a thing of feeling old– just of realizing that time is passing by.

      And His faithfulness has remained– of which I am so thankful!

  15. Elizabeth’s words about being a slave made me laugh since I know some biological children who sometimes have felt the same way. And yes, so often in our lives what is for good feels bad at the time. So thankful God has blessed you with the gift of your lovely daughter this past year. And He is faithful to fill those “wanting” places on our hearts, though we grieve the loss of dreams. He has more for you.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you, Julie. <3

  16. I love how your faith thinks. … Does that make sense? I wish my faith thought that way.

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      It’s been a slow change– one I still struggle with. But God has been faithful, even when I am not.

  17. I spent most of this morning in tears because I too am waiting-not necessarily for a baby but for a husband. I am 38 years old and waiting and wondering if I should let go of my dream of being a wife. I thank you for your candor and this Word you shared. I will be expecting GOOD from our heavenly father as well. God bless you

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Praying for you as you enter this new year. May you taste more of His goodness than ever before. <3 <3

  18. I turned 30 in September and had these exact feelings. 30 seemed like such a huge number, especially knowing there were no children in our home…and likely will never be. I’m thankful 2014 brought redemption for you, and I’ll continue praying for you in this new year. ♡

    1. Natasha Metzler says:

      Thank you so much for your prayers, friend. <3

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