When You Leave Your First Love

I’m going to blame it on Netflix. I shouldn’t really, but I’m going to.

See, things had been slightly stressful. We have some huge changes taking place in our family. My brain was like, mush. And I was super tired.

So one evening when my daughter went to bed and my husband was still working, I turned on Netflix. Which would have been perfectly fine except that I did it the next night and the night after that and well, suddenly it was part of my every-day-routine.

Here’s the truth, it’s not at all about movies. It’s about me.

My soul was tired and instead of going to the source of refreshment, sustenance, and hope– I wore myself out further by giving in to my desires to be entertained.

I was Ephesus.

I was still doing all these good things. I was still holding to truth. I was still following God. But there was something He was holding against me:

you have abandoned the love you had at first. (Rev. 2:4)

It’s fine to watch a movie. It’s fine to relax and not think for an hour or two.

It’s not fine to leave all that is good and then wonder why I can’t breathe under the weight of life.  It’s not fine to stop giving my time to God and then demand to know where He is. It’s not fine to abandon my relationship with Jesus and then pretend like I have no idea why my soul is withering.

The beautiful part? In Revelation 2:5 we’re told exactly what to do to fix the issue.

Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent…

Repentance is the key to the Kingdom.

Repentance is the key to eternal life.

Repentance is the spark that brings to life that which is dead.

And through repentance, I can return to the love I had at first.